As I write feeling well today and reflecting back on the drama of yesterday it is good to be here for another day and I am grateful to my Maker for it.
“This is the day God made , in it we’ll joy triumphantly” Psalm 118:23
There are many good renditions of these great words from a great psalm but this sentence from the metrical version resonates with a terminally ill codger like myself as I hop, skip and even try to jump one step ahead of the funeral director!
At 9am yesterday, while catching up on emails, a huge distressing seizure gripped me; normally I refuse a drug called Clobazom and just see the nasty episode through by relaxing. This time I knew it would be long lasting, distressing and painful. Given the chance I would have downed the drug like lemonade on a hot day. Left side shaking, eyes rolling, teeth chattering Margaret kept talking as I tried and succeeded in staying conscious. After 25 minutes it started to ease then subsided as the ambulance arrived. My left hand was effectively dead and did not even feel like part of my body.
No time was wasted in bundling me into the ambulance, siren going, rubber burning, brakes smelling. In under 20 minutes I found myself being wheeled into a resuscitation room… right away I asked if I was in the correct place as I offered to slide myself off the ambulance trolley – WHAT A FUSS. I then overheard the paramedic tell the consultant that I had probably taken a massive stroke. The consultant then explained the subtle difference between the sometimes unusual aftermath of a seizure and a stroke. It reminded me of the fact that in a previous life, how difficult it used to be before plug in diagnostics to find some of the faults with cars.
The power came back to my left side over the next hour, so the big question was… when can I go home? Poked, prodded, blood taken then gown discarded, shaved and dressed looking smart as possible, head up and shoulders back, following first, second and third opinions…. I’m sure you could use a spare bed? In other words, nice, caring, skilled and professional as you all are PLEASE RELEASE ME! (The trick is very early on to ask politely for discharge knowing it will take a few hours, do it with a respectful smile and and engage in the banter as soon as you can talk half coherently).
Sometimes there are simply no great spiritual thoughts but of course there is still that cry from the heart…help me, deliver me, and thanks also for that renewed consciousness of the prayers of both the saints and the skeptics. EVEN FULLY PAID UP ATHEIST AND AGNOSTIC FRIENDS have been praying!
I have great admiration for those who with unwavering faith; care very little about any criticism of the Christian Gospel. These people talk of a great closeness to the Saviour, a strong sense of his presence day by day and even hour by hour, joy and contentment oozes out of them.
Psalm 125 applies to these good people.
They in the Lord that firmly trust
shall be like Zion hill,
Which at no time can be removed,
but standeth ever still.
I travel in the slow lane, just occasionally feeling the power, presence and blessing of God… sometimes this comparatively low level of spiritual experience seems to be just enough of it to keep me going without much left in the tank. God gives extraordinary blessing to very few. At the very least I have the same consistent longing as the Apostle talking of the risen Jesus..“ that I may know him and the power of his resurrection“
The thrust of the reformation was and still is being justified in the eyes of God through faith in Jesus, that is the message of the bible and I have fully accepted that full and free offer. HAVE YOU?
My book ‘One Good Owner’ is now out get it free in exchange for a donation to Stirling Free Church. Do this through Golden Giving